The Alternate
by marianna
Summary: AU. What if Aaron hadn't killed Lilly? If Lilly hadn't broken up with Logan, but Duncan HAD broken up with Veronica? Definite VL goodness, and some plain old VLilly bonding.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars, but we both know I'd love to… :sigh: You know the drill.

"I narrowed down my list." Skipping onto the bed, the girl smiles confidently, almost leaning back against the neatly placed rows of clothes.

"Right." The other responds, grabbing her piles before they can wrinkle, and moving them into the open duffel on the floor.

"No, seriously. It's done. It's narrowed. It's _whittled down_." The shorter of the two tilts her head slightly, a knowing smirk playing across her lips.

"You say it is, I know it isn't, must we play this little game?" She asks, resuming her task of folding clothes. There are piles everywhere, the chair, the desk, even the bedside table has a few stray undergarments scattered neatly on it.

"Veronica, it's done." Her smile is wide and bright, and for a moment, Veronica almost believes her.

The moment has passed. "I don't believe you. We spent hours-no, _days_, making that first list. Days, mind you, that could've been spent oh say, perfecting my _own_ list." Her eyebrows raise and she smirks again, sighing as she surveys her piles.

"Veronica. You have a whole year to decide where you want to go to college. I, on the other hand, have months. Weeks. _Days_, even to get everything ready and sent out." She smiles again, and it's so infectious that Veronica can't help but smiling back. Clearing a spot on the bed, she lies next to her friend, propping up her head with a pillow.

"Ok. Fine. Hit me with your list. But I'm telling you, if none of the schools we first talked about aren't on there, I'm leaving." The words are harsh, but there is a smile in her voice, and the other girl laughs.

"Jake and Celeste want Brown-"

"No."

"What, Veronica, why? It's a great school, and as an added bonus it's on the East coast. Snow! Imagine how cute I'll look in sweaters and hats. God, the boot options _alone_ are fabulous. Imagine the damage that we could do." She laughs again, and the deep sound reverberates through the entire room.

"Yes…the operative term there being 'could', Lilly. _Could_. You'll be doing the damaging on your own if you go to Brown…" Her tone is serious, but her eyes are dancing merrily. Lilly huffily sighs on her right, but can't help but smiling.

"So then I said, guys, come on. This face?" She gestures to her flawless white skin. "In snow? I would disappear. And we can't have that." She grins; and reaching behind her, Veronica pulls out her pillow, and smacks her lightly.

"Next? We are on a time schedule here, Lill." She glances down at her watch teasingly, and taps the face. "At the rate you're going we'll have graduated by the time you're done." Rolling her eyes, Lilly smiles, rolling to her side.

"Dad got all misty, Lilly," She exclaims, clearing her throat, and imitating her father. "If you have any hope of carrying on the Kane tradition, the Kane _Legacy_… _Brown_ is the place to go…but I said, Dad. No way. And I'm just so convincing that he bought it." It's Veronica's turn to roll her eyes.

"While we're young here, Ms. Kane." She responds, deadpan, suddenly sitting up and glancing around the room.

"Ok, here it is abridged Veronica Mars, eat your heart out. UCLA," She points to herself. "Acting career started!" She does a little shimmy and pouts a la Marilyn Monroe and though unwillingly, Veronica laughs.

"Since when do you want to act?" She asks skeptically.

"Since I'll be in _LA_, and have that _option_."

"Next?"

"Berkeley, Andrews, Neeland, and UC San Diego."

"You have absolutely no musical talent. None. What so ever. What in the world are you going to do at Berkeley, Lill?"

"Hello, Veronica Mars, have sex! Guys with guitars are _so_ hot."

"Does that mean I should learn how to play?" A voice says from the doorway, and both girls jump.

"Logan! Hi! You're early." She is up and at his side in an instant, and Veronica sits unobtrusively on the bed, looking anywhere but at the embracing couple.

"And you're…packed. On time. _Early_ even. Did I fall into an alternate universe or something?" Lilly laughs uproariously, leading him into the room, and Veronica quickly stands.

"Hey Logan," She whispers softly, wiping her hands on her jeans, and getting out of his way. Their gazes catch fleetingly as he settles into the spot she has just vacated.

"Hey," He responds, but she's already turned her back to him. As she smiles at Lilly, he frowns.

"Ok, Lill." Gesturing towards the door, she smiles. "I'm gonna go. But call me when you get back on Sunday." They air kiss, and laughing, Lilly turns, Veronica forgotten, to the stereo, turning up the volume and sensually dancing her way towards him. As she closes the door behind her, she distinctly hears Lilly say, "Come on, we can do it once before we go." Her stomach drops, and she tries unsuccessfully to block the images out of her mind.

"Hi," A voice from behind her softly whispers, and she nearly jumps out of her skin before turning.

"Duncan. Hey." She responds uncomfortably, looking down at her hands. Or anywhere really, that takes her eyes off him.

"Are you leaving?" He asks after a while, and she nods her head jerkily, praying for a miracle to take her away from this awkwardness.

"Uh, yeah. Logan just got here…and he and Lilly are getting ready to leave soon, so, yeah. I should go. I'll see you later." She turns to leave, breathing a sigh of relief when he doesn't stop her.

"Veronica!" He calls, when she's almost at the door. _Dammit_, she thinks. _So close_.

"Yeah?" She calls, turning slowly, and plastering her brightest, fakest smile. He comes down the stairs, closer and closer, and her breath catches in apprehension. _I don't want this!_ her subconscious screams, but Duncan's, apparently, doesn't get the memo.

"Veronica," He murmurs when he gets close, his hand wrapping around her forearm, and she forces herself not to cringe. "I know things have been…strange between us. But you're Lilly's best friend, and we're bound to see each other from time time…" _You should be a politician_, she thinks, effectively blocking him out, smiling and nodding at the opportune moments. The second she sees an opening, she smiles again, trying to recapture her arm without seeming rude.

"What's this?" Lilly's voice calls from above them, and inwardly, Veronica groans. "A party and we weren't invited?" She comes down the stairs as regally as a queen, with Logan at her heels. He tries to catch Veronica's eye, but she looks away. _Anywhere but here, _she's thinking, but she just smiles blandly. "Are you guys getting back together? Because, oh my god, that would be so great! We could be the fearsome foursome again!" She continues obliviously, smiling dazzlingly at Veronica, shaking her head conspiringly. "So this is why you wanted to leave? A secret rendezvous with Duncan? I _knew_ you guys would figure it out eventually." She looks so excited that Veronica doesn't have the heart to tell her.

"I've really gotta go, Lill." She murmurs apologetically, squirming out of Duncan's grasp. "I'll talk to you soon." She turns towards the door, rushing as soon as she gets out, her spirit breaking as she sees Logan's yellow X-Terra haphazardly parked behind her. "Dammit, Logan!" She exclaims, visibly startled to find him standing behind her, his keys dangling from his fingers.

"I just uh, came out here to tell you that I was blocking you in. I'll just move the truck, and be out of your way." He says quietly as he passes her, and as his arm accidentally brushes hers, she closes her eyes in anguish.

"Thanks," She responds weakly, frowning as she catches a glimpse of herself in the side mirror. The color is high in her cheeks, and she frowns, looking away.

"All set." He calls out, and she looks up, startled. In an instant he's close, and suddenly her throat is dry.

"Th-," She starts, swallowing the scratch out of her throat. "Thank you." She finally manages, briefly glancing into his eyes, and finding herself caught in their depths.

"Yeah, no problem." He responds in a whisper. _We're so close, _she realizes,_ that if I move my head up just half an inch we'll be kissing_, but immediately she chastises herself for it.

"We can't do this, Logan." She murmurs, flattening herself against the door of the Le Baron. He nods, breaking the spell and looking away.

"I know." His voice is low, and in her ear, and a million tiny goose bumps explode on her arms. "But I just can't forget, y'know?" His voice is so lost and passionate that she can't help but looking at him again. _You and me both, bud_.

"I wasn't lying when I told Lilly I had to go." She says softly, by way of explanation, quickly getting inside the car, but unable to resist looking back up at him. "Have fun on your trip." The sun has begun to set, and even with that, even as she's reversing out of the driveway, she can feel his eyes on her. And even when she's out of sight of the house, and knows without a doubt that he can't still see her, she can feel him, and that alone breaks her heart.

A/N: This is my first foray into the Lilly being alive side of FF, but I have to tell you, I'm really enjoying it. This is also-for people who have read my other stuff, the longest chapter I think I've ever written. But Ok, let me answer some of the questions I'm betting some of you have. Aaron didn't kill Lilly on October 3rd, 2003-obviously. This is set about a week before Lilly's Senior, and the rest of the gang's Junior year of high school. Duncan broke up with Veronica in the same fashion, but since a considerable amount of time has passed, and her best friend isn't dead this time, she got over it. And no, I'm not being allusive and random when Logan says, "I can't forget". You will find out what exactly he can't forget, and boy is it good. I really hope you liked this. I love it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars. Maybe for Christmas?

"Veronica we need to talk." His words are low in her ear, and she almost jumps, barely able to control her reaction at his closeness. She's almost certain the entire world can sense the awkwardness between them. She begins to walk down the hallway, smiling to people as she passes, but he is right behind her. "You can't pretend it didn't happen, Ronnie." She stops suddenly, aware of the scene they'll cause, but unable to hold back her anger.

"It was a mistake, Logan." Her voice is barely above a whisper, but her tone is all steel. "A stupid, stupid mistake that didn't mean anything…to either of us." Her eyes can't meet his as she utters the last words, and it takes all of his willpower not to grab her and kiss her right there.

"Hey guys." Lilly's voice from behind them breaks the spell. She can barely stop herself from recoiling as they kiss. _It isn't your place Mars_, she knows it's true, but she can't help but remember the one perfect night she'd had in his arms…

"_Logan!" Her face is pasty pale, and her eyes are bloodshot. Lilly is nowhere to be found, and he is her only hope. She stumbles over a lawn chair, sending it into Shelley Pomeroy's pool, and she wants to die right there. "Logan," she mumbles, losing her balance again, and almost tumbling on to his lap. "I think someone spiked my drink." Her eyes are wide and guileless, and he can sense her sense her panic, urgency, her _fear

"_Shh. It's Ok, V." He whispers, steadying her. "I've got you." She smiles weakly up at him, trusting that he'll take care of her…_

"Hello? 'Ronica? Earth to Mars!" She is startled out of her reverie by the snapping of Lilly's fingers. "Where'd you go just now, kid?" She smiles, forgetting her question, wrapping her arm around Veronica's shoulders, chatting away, but Veronica can't hear her. Her eyes are trapped by Logan's, and the current that passes between them is so thick it's almost tangible. Overhead, the warning bell rings, and it's Logan's turn to take her arm.

" Where did you go just now, Veronica?" He asks her, his voice low and urgent in her ear, and as she turns to face him, he can see that her heart is breaking in her eyes. He reaches forward to touch her, and she takes a step back, visibly shaking.

"We can't do this." Her tone is final; her eyes are dead and numb. "We can't. The fact that it happened once is horrible enough, but this is _Lilly, _Logan. It wouldn't be just some random nobody that we'd be hurting, but _Lilly_. She's my best friend. I can't do that to her." The hall is empty, the morning bell having just rung, and there is no one there to witness their argument.

"Do you think I _want_ to love you, Veronica?" She recoils at his words, but he continues on, oblivious to her distress. "Do you think it feels good pretend to care about the boring details of her day, just so I can _hear_ about you?" She gasps at his last words, tears springing in her eyes, but he still doesn't stop. "She's my best friend too." His voice breaks the final words, and he looks away from her, keeping her from seeing the pain in his eyes.

"So what do you want from _me_?" She asks, her tears bursting down her cheeks, her voice ragged. "If she's your best friend too, and you love her, then that doesn't leave much for us, Logan." He takes a step forward, to comfort-to hold her, but she holds her hand up to stop him. "Because you may love me," She whispers, her voice hard. "But we _both_ love Lilly." She turns to leave, her heart breaking, unable to be so near him and not have his arms around her.

"I just wish…that there was like, an alternate universe or something." His broken voice calls her back. She turns slowly, a wry smile gracing her lips.

"It wouldn't matter." She replies, shrugging, unshed tears shining in her eyes. "Because wherever we are, there's always Lilly. And I don't think either of us would want it any other way."

A/N: I know it's a bit shorter than the first one, obviously, but I mean, there's a _lot_ to work with here. And I'm really excited about it. I hope you guys liked this.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_.

_There is a body on the ground. That much, she can see. An internal sense of foreboding calls her away, but all the same, she is drawn to this grizzly scene. There is a scar, she can clearly see on the victim's ankle, and suddenly, she feels woozy_. I have that scar too_, she thinks, remembering the incident that warranted it. A 7th grade sneak out mission…they'd both fallen in exactly the same spot. _

"_This marks it. We'll be friends forever." She'd said laughing. She was always laughing, and all Veronica had wanted to do was believe her. A large gust of wind blows through, shaking her out of her reverie, and she notices a lock of honey colored hair not matted down by blood flutter into view. All at once, her surroundings are familiar, and the figure on the ground less blurred. _Lilly

_"No!" She screams, falling to her knees, the concrete on the patio biting into her knees, "Lilly, no!" Grabbing her hand, she tries to coax her out of her sleep. "Lilly, wake up. Wake up! _Please_ wake up!" But her body, clad in her Pep Squad uniform doesn't move. Sobs wrack her chest, and she falls back, against the ground, against the cold concrete which seems to have stolen the very essence of her friend. Her knee has bled a little from her fall, and as she pulls the body once named Lilly to her, their blood mixes. They are now connected forever._

Somewhere, she's sure, there is a buzzing alarm with her name on it. "Don't wanna get up." She mumbles against her pillow accidentally hitting her leg against the bedpost, her entire body shuddering in a second of pain. _Your Achilles Heel_, Lilly had laughingly called it, and Veronica sits up, vividly remembering the contents of her dream. _Lilly_. Stumbling out of bed, she searches for the phone, frantically spinning in circles until she sees it, nestled peacefully under the duvet she must have kicked off during the night. She punches the numbers in carefully, impatiently waiting for the phone to connect and ring.

"'Lo?" Lilly's sleepy voice mumbles from the other end, and Veronica sags with relief, hanging up without even saying a word.

A/N: I know it's short, but it has a buddy chapter that I'm posting it with. I've learned my lesson with posting really short chapters on their own, and I try not to do it too often.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_.

"Veronica, hi." His appreciative tone does nothing for her, but she smiles at him anyway, as she hurries into the hall.

"Hey Duncan." She calls, craning her neck to face him as she walks up the stairs. "Your sister is home, right? I saw her car." At his nod, she continues, frowning to herself as she remembers the silver motorcycle she'd seen discreetly parked across the street. _Maybe Logan got a new toy_, she thinks as she opens the door, half knocking along the way. "Hey Lill, I-" She stops dead, one fist poised to knock, the other on the doorknob. Sitting on the bed, struggling to straighten their clothes are Lilly, and a man Veronica has never seen before.

"Forgot to knock?" Lilly asks laughing, her eyes dancing merrily. Veronica gapes at her incredulously and for a moment the bedroom is silent.

"_Li_lly," She hisses under breath, her long curtain of hair falling to hide the side of her face. "What is going on here?"

"Eli Navarro." A voice says from behind her, and she practically jumps with surprise.

"Hi." She replies, turning to face him, smiling tightly. He extends his hand, and for a moment she doesn't know what to do.

"I don't have fleas." Without waiting for a response, he turns towards the door. "It was nice to meet you." He says sarcastically. "Lilly." He nods, and as Veronica watches they share a secret smile of sorts. She feels sick to her stomach.

"So what's up Veronica Mars?" Lilly asks, falling back against the mattress, and for a moment, is speechless. "Veronica? Verrrrrrrrrronica? Earth to Mars." Lilly's snapping fingers jolt her out of her daydream, and she blinks. Lilly is in her cheer uniform. "What brings you by so early?" Lilly asks, leaning over the side of the bed in search of a magazine.

"What were you doing with that guy?" She asks, her voice a little rusty, and Lilly snorts as she looks up at her, her attention finally caught.

"Knitting a sweater." She replies, deadpan, but her eyes are dancing. "What'd you think we were doing? Schoolwork?" She laughs again, shaking her head, and Veronica feels the world crashing around her.

"What about Logan?" She asks quietly. Lilly's smile falters a little, but she only shakes her head.

"What _about_ Logan, Veronica?" She asks, rolling her eyes and looking away again. Veronica sighs, her stomach tightening.

"…Does he…does he know?" Her voice catches on the last word, and Lilly glances up at her again, shrugging her petite shoulders.

"Does it matter?" She asks, and suddenly Veronica feels woozy. _Does it _matter_? Does it matter._ Does it_ matter?_

"Lilly…Logan's a really great-"

"Oh come on, _spare me_, Veronica Mars." She smiles and pats the bed beside her, but Veronica is rooted to the spot. "Oh come on, you're not upset about this, are you? Logan and I," She falls back laughing. "We're…we're plain vanilla. A girl like me needs some _chocolate_ in her life." Laughing uproariously and flipping through her magazine, and shakes her head. "Oh come on, Mars. He's a big boy. I'm sure he has his fun too." _They were so close_,_ that if she moved her head up just half an inch they'd be kissing. _"Although if I ever catch him at it, I'll cut his balls off." Her voice cuts through Veronica's thoughts and she wants to scream _how is that _fair? But she knows she can't. It isn't her place. "Veronica?" Lilly asks, and she forces herself to smile. Realizing that she's still standing in the doorway she takes a step in, shuddering involuntarily. She sits on the edge of the bed, barely listening as Lilly laughed and chattered about this and that, her attention riveted on one, small thing-tiny even, perhaps. _Does it matter?_ "You can have him of course, if you want." Lilly says, gesturing towards the page, and Veronica glances down too, the face of a somewhat familiar Hollywood playboy grins back at her. His paper face is forgotten in a second, the vivid reality of Logan's taking it's place. _You can have him of course_, if you want. And now of course, there are two.

A/N: So I hope you guys liked this. I really, really enjoyed writing it. And in case my thought process eludes you; that last line there, where she says "and now of course there are two" means now there are two things that she's thinking about. I really liked ending it like that, and thinking ahead-for you the people who have to read this, I figured I'd explain myself just in case it _didn't_ make sense.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with _Veronica Mars_, although maybe, if the world were kind…

"Veronica." She turns her head a fraction of an inch and shrugs her shoulders in question. "Caitlin Ford. What do you think of her?" She gestures forward slightly with her chin, and Veronica is forced to glance at the hawk nosed girl sitting a few lab benches ahead of them. She sits ramrod straight, as if awaiting inspection, and with a sudden jolt Veronica realizes she _is_.

"She has good posture?" She whispers back lamely, her voice lower than before, conscious now of the affect of her words.

"Not _exactly_ what I had in mind, Mars." Veronica sneaks another glance at the girl, and almost catches her eyes; sure she saw a thankful smile in them. "Do you think she's after Logan?" _They were so close, that if she moved her head up a fraction of an inch, they'd be kissing._

"Logan?" She whispers back, all at once grateful for the dark room.

"Yes. _Logan_." She shakes her head, facing forward. "My boyfriend?" She smiles brightly, and Veronica gulps, the sound inaudible. "He's been acting weird lately, and I just _know_ he's cheating. I can feel it." Flicking her eyes once towards Lilly, Veronica faces forward as well. Caitlin Ford. _Could_ he?_ I don't want to love you, Veronica_, he'd said and despite Lilly's new found 'evidence', she believed him.

"I don't think-" She started, but Lilly's urgent look cut her off.

"But you will find out for me, won't you 'Ronica?" The look in her eyes is so insistent, so _dire_ that she can do nothing but shrug.

"Sure, Lill. If that's what you want, but Logan would never cheat. Not on you." She tries to smile, but it doesn't quite meet her eyes.

"He'd better not. " She makes a snipping motion with her fingers, dissolving into fits of hilarity. Veronica tries to laugh with her, but finds that the memory of his lips on hers holding her back.

_"The world is spinning." Her voice is weak, and even through her haze; she notes his look of concern. Kissing her head, he hushes her, settling her down on the bed. "Where are we?" She asks, coughing once, and turning into his shoulder for warmth. _Comfort

_"The Pomeroy's estate is as vast as it is impressive. At this particular moment in time we've settled into one of the various guest suites, but at any moment we could move, and no one would notice." His faux accent and haughty grandeur make her giggle, and soon she is coughing up a storm, the look on her face anything but amused. "Veronica do you want me to go get-" He starts, but the look of fear in her eyes dries his words in his throat. "So I'm taking that as a no." Her eyes fill with tears, and he pulls her to him again, whispering soothing, non-sensical words into her hair. She smiles faintly up at him, and their eyes lock. This is the longest they've ever been alone together. _

_"Where's Lilly?" She asks, shifting uncomfortably, and moving a few inches away from him. The temperature in the room has risen a considerable amount, and fanning herself, she tugs lightly at the drooping flower at her neck. As a result of this, she misses his wince. "Logan?"_

_"I don't uh…I don't know." He looks deeply into her eyes, and the world starts to spin again. "She broke up with me." He laughs, sadly. "I think it's for good this time."_

"Veronica? Hello, VERONICA?" The annoyance in her tone startles her out of her reverie.

"Hmm?" She asks, a slight flush crawling across her cheeks. _I've got to stop thinking about Logan…_

"…right?" Not wanting to get caught daydreaming again, she nods brightly, and smiling, Lilly breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God, 'Ronica. I don't know what I would do without you." She winks, walking out of the classroom, and leaving Veronica to ponder what _exactly_ she had agreed to do…

"Veronica?" She glances up visibly startled. He is standing in the doorway, simply gazing at her, and she feels it on her skin, more intimate than a touch. "Do I have to pay a penny for your thoughts, or will you tell me them for free?" Grabbing a discarded chair from the corner, he turns it to his liking and sits in front of her.

"Lilly," She laughs at the irony of what's coming, the sound cold and dead. "Wants me to find out if you're cheating on her." She blurts and bites her lip in annoyance. "I _obviously_ wasn't supposed to let you know." Shrugging sadly, she sighs, rubbing her temples. "What the hell am I going to tell her, Logan?" There are tears threatening, but she swallows them back. "Of _course_ Logan isn't cheating on you with Caitlin Ford!" She mocks with faux excitement, not catching his split second look of disgust. "How am I so sure? Well it could be because if he were cheating on you it would be with-oh yeah, that's right. _Me_." Shuddering visibly, she continues on. "I can't follow him around, waiting with baited breath to see who the girl behind door number 3 is, because if there were a girl, and if he were indeed cheating-which he _isn't_, it would be me. But he's not! He can't do it to you." She's crying now, all of her strength gone. "And neither can I." Her tone is hoarse, and she bites her lip from crying out again.

"God, I'm sorry Ronnie." He whispers, and as he moves to touch her, she pushes him away.

"No-no way, none of that. It's how we got in trouble the first time."

_"Are you feeling any better? Do you need any more water?" She smiles weakly, trying to sit up so she can see him._

_"I'm Ok, thanks." He smiles at her, settling on the edge of the bed once again, and she suddenly feels the change in temperature again. "Thank you for staying with me, but I think in a couple minutes-" She tries to stand, but unable to keep her balance, stumbles back onto the bed. "Or hours," She continues, giggling softly. "I'll be able to get up." Biting her lip as she realizes just how close they are, she makes a valiant attempt to move. _

_"Veronica-" He starts, but she weakly holds up her hand to stop him. _

_"You are my best friend's boy-" But he has crushed his lips on hers, and the world is spinning for real this time. He lets her go, an apology on his lips, but in the next instant she kisses it away, and he is lost._

"We didn't, did we though?"

"What?" She asks, glancing up, and noting his closeness, so desperately wanting to hold him.

"Get in trouble."

"God, Logan that's no excuse! It was such a stupid _stupid_ mistake," She inhales sharply at his closeness. "That we should never ever repeat again." She bites her lip, but after a second, he is there, and she can do nothing but surrender against his lips.

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long to get you this chapter of the story, you guys probably forgot all about it, which wasn't my intention at all. My dad came up with the crazy idea of putting wood floors in our house and as a result my Internet connection was fried, and my computer is out of commission. I wrote this on my sister's laptop, and I'll be updating as soon as I get the chance. Thanks, and I really hoped you liked it.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the genius of Rob Thomas or _Veronica Mars_. The genius here is all my own. Haha.

_There is blood on his hands, but he's not quite sure how it got there. He doesn't even know where he is, and the world is spinning. _

"Hey, Donut."_ Lilly. Her voice is soft, barely a whisper in the wind, but he spins frantically until he finds her. His eyes are riveted at the sight of her, cold on lifeless on the cement patio, her legs spread eagle, a large red gash leaking blood on the right side of her head, her eyes open and lifeless. She sits up. _"You finally got some balls, didn't you?"_ She asks laughing, the sound sending shivers down his spine. Tilting her head slightly to the side gestures towards his hand, he looks down too, shocked to find himself holding the offending murder weapon. A cherry red ashtray, heavy and cumbersome, droplets of her blood spilling off it. Suddenly her fingers are snapping in front of his face, and startled he looks back down at her, lifting his shoulders in question. _"I'm just sorry it had to be at my expense."

Duncan wakes up screaming. In the 6th months since Lilly's death, it's all he's done. _Can_ do. That dream is the closest he's come to remembering anything about that day. _October 3rd, 2004_. It gives him chills just to think about it, but he can't himself.

"Did you do it, Duncan?" He asks himself aloud, standing and stretching, rubbing his hands over his face, and wiping the tears away from his eyes. No. He couldn't have.

"_I beg to differ, Donut, and I _am_ the one with the gash in my head."_ He stumbles backwards, landing on the bed, and scrambling to press himself against the wall, to get away from her, from his demons. She shrugs her petite shoulders, her deep blue eyes looking into his. _"And _what_ a way to go." _She snorts as she walks around the room, her fingers lightly splaying over his things._ "Dying over Veronica Mars. I never thought that would happen."_ She smiles then, wistfully, and his heart breaks_. I couldn't have killed Lilly. Could I have? "Take care of her for me,"_ She murmurs, her voice getting softer as she begins to fade around the edges. _"Make sure Logan doesn't hurt her too badly, Okay?"_ Logan. The name is enough to catapult him out of his reverie. He gets up quickly, rushing to his desk, dying to see the smudges of Lilly's fingerprints in the dust, but they're not there. She is really gone.

A/N: I know, what a twist, right? And honestly, I didn't want to kill Lilly. This whole story was a way for me to write about Lilly being alive. And if you're reading this, you must really be fond of this story, because I haven't updated in a while. Anyway, I've started more fics since this, but I'm one of those people that just have this all encompassing _need_ to finish what I've started, and I desperately wanted to finish this. So, with that in mind, please don't hate me for pulling this plot twist. I know it's cheap, but I think I'm doing it Okay. Right? So this puts me on the road of almost almost almost being done. And I mean, in my defense, I don't think Lilly would have ever been Okay with Logan and Veronica together, if she were alive. Even though she had her own affairs or what not. And I guess what I'm trying to prove is that in any world that L and V are together, Lilly can't be alive. I know, that's sort of _Slaughterhouse 5_-esque of me, but that's Okay. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own _Veronica Mars_. I'm not even _affiliated_ with the show in any way. Which is pretty distressing considering I think I'd be a great addition to their writing staff…

He doesn't want to remember. Like sunlight peeking through morning curtains, however, the memories keep flooding back in shafts and snippets. Logan's lips on her alabaster skin, his fingers tangled in her hair…it's enough to make his stomach turn, even now.

"Hey Duncan." _Her shoulders shook as she gazed at the lowering coffin, but she didn't cry. Didn't make a sound until his arms had wrapped around her shoulders. Her sorrow had seeped out then, and _finally_, the tears had exploded down her cheeks. She was safe, she was Okay, she was in his arms. _ Logan's. _But not his-_never _his_.

"Veronica." He responds quietly, only meeting her eyes for a second. Light is streaming in through the big picture window, and he doesn't miss the irony as it dances a halo around her hair. _Veronica_. The only answer to his questions, his one hope for salvation.

"I just-" He can pinpoint the exact moment Logan enters the library. Not through any semblance of friendship-they haven't had a conversation in _months_, but through her. Her lips part, and of their own volition her eyes soften. He can sense the love in them, and shifts his hands out of view so she can't see how tightly his fists clench. "Hey," She calls out to him, her voice hoarse-as if she isn't sure which tone to use. Her movements are jerky, and he wonders fleetingly if they are this awkward when alone. He doubts it. And all too suddenly, Logan is there, and he almost has to pull back, to put a wall between them because his presence is so overwhelming.

"Hey, man." He says, smiling tightly and reaching his hand out to form some sort of contact, but it falls to his side as Duncan unwillingly pulls back, stiffening. "How's it going?" He wants to scoff at this. _How's it going_. Possibly _the_ most trivial greeting ever created. No one ever bothers to stick around and wait for an answer, and honestly if they were to, what would he say? _Well, I'm doing great! My sister has been murdered and I'm in love with her best friend, who's also _my_ best friends girlfriend and as an added bonus, my ex. But yeah, I'm doing _awesome He wonders fleetingly what bothers him more, Lilly being gone, or Veronica and Logan. He feels sick, and a bead of perspiration explodes on his forehead. As he moves to answer, he can tell Logan's attention is riveted on something else. Some_one_ else. She's playing with the spoon necklace around her neck, flicking the chain back and forth as she stares at the spot behind his left ear. He'd bet a million that her look of calm serenity is anything but, but he has no basis for it, will never unlock the mysteries hidden in her eyes. A bell rings somewhere in the distance, and inwardly he breathes a sigh of relief. Another awkward conversation averted, another day survived. He can't think of it any other way or he'll go crazy. He's _going_ crazy, but no one notices. It's better this way.

"I have to-I should go." He stands so quickly that his chair begins to teeter, but he turns and straightens it quickly, no imperfections detected. He can see her heart clearly reflected in her eyes, her spirit is crushed, and absurdly he feels a rush of satisfaction at that. _I did that_, something inside him laughs, and he can almost swear he hears the sound ringing through his ears. "I'll see you later." He says as he turns back to face them, his own features guarded. He reaches towards her, his actions mimicking Logan's. He wants to touch her. To gather her in his arms and bury himself within her, but he can't. She's not his anymore. _Maybe she never was._

"Well that was awkward." Logan has filled the vacant seat, and she has to blink because the differences between them are so drastic.

"On a scale of one to a million I would say it was the awkwardest." She responds, throwing a grin his way, but sighing as she takes his hand.

"And it could have been avoided, Ronnie, if you'd listened to me. He's not ready to talk to us. Give him time." She's still unaccustomed to listening to him as the voice of reason, but deep down, she finds she likes it. Knows she couldn't have survived the past few months without him.

"I just…I don't want him to be alone. Lilly was all he had and-" Not unexpectedly, her eyes fill with tears, and she has to break their contact in order to wipe them away.

"We all grieve in different ways." He replies, regaining his hold on her fingers, even tightening it ever so slightly and leaning over to lightly brush his lips across her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," She murmurs, cupping his cheek with her palm, her eyes meeting his and holding. "I know that-" He kisses the inside of her palm, and she closes her eyes, a tiny little gasp escaping from her parted lips.

"Veronica," He whispers, and she opens her eyes, glancing into his with a startling intensity. "It's Okay." After a moment of silence, she nods, fresh tears springing in her eyes. _It's Okay. It's not your fault. She isn't dead because of _you Once again she finds herself in his arms, sobbing quietly into the warmth of his shoulder, her shoulders shaking with the enormity of her grief. He glances up on impulse, surprised to see Duncan's retreating form. _He'd been watching_.

A/N: Okay children, I hope this cleared things up a little, although it was meant to be a little confusing so maybe not. I really hope you liked it, because I think this is one of my better chapters, but it's up to you.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own no part of _Veronica Mars_. Not even the teensiest tiniest part. It breaks my heart every day, that.

_It is the tinny sound of her cell phone that breaks them apart. She takes a shuddering breath, pushing her hands against his shoulders and swallows shakily. _

_"Time to get back to reality," She quips nervously, as she leans over the desk rail to grab her phone out of her bag, hoping that her hands aren't shaking too badly._

_"So did you find out anything?" Lilly's voice is hopeful, and as she stands, Veronica can feel the connection breaking up. Damn the school for not having better service. _

_"I um-"_

_"C'mon 'Ronica, spit it out. Either he's banging some cheerleader against the bleachers or he isn't." Veronica's head spins. The world is fading at the edges. _To tell the truth, or to lie to ones best friend..._that_ is the question.

_"Not exactly a cheerleader." She murmurs quietly, closing her eyes in agony. _This is going to be the hardest conversation you've ever had, Mars. Own up to it and get it over with.

_"What? Veronica what are you talking about? Caitlin Ford is on the Varsity Cheer Squad." _Logan Echolls is not worth losing your best friend over_, the voice inside her whispers, but as she glances back at him and sees his heart in his eyes, she knows that's a lie._

_"Logan isn't cheating on you, Lil. Not with Caitlin Ford." Even through the bad connection, she can hear Lilly's sigh of relief. _

_"And you're a hundred percent sure?" Her voice is hopeful and so very young that for a moment, Veronica doesn't want to tell her. Doesn't want to upset this fractured peace they've created. "He didn't slip into a bathroom or behind a closed door?" She giggles slightly, but Veronica can hear the apprehension in her voice_. Do you _want_ me to hate myself Lill? Cuz I already do…

_"Nope. I've been with him since school let out." She murmurs softly, glancing over her shoulder at Logan, noting that he looked as wrecked as she felt_. At least we're in this together…

"_Oh hey, Donut." Lilly says, her voice muffled, and Veronica can't help but smile at the playful nickname she has given Duncan. "Duncan just got home. I should go, 'Ronica. Thanks for all your help, seriously." The bounce is back in her voice, and Veronica knows that if she doesn't tell her now, she never will._

"_Wait, Lill-" _

"_What? Crisis averted, right?" Veronica swallows, an unexpected ache of sorrow filling her. _

"_Not exactly." She mumbles, staring down at her hands, and wishing that this was easier. That she hadn't fallen in love with her best friend's boyfriend. _The right thing to do, Mars, is to give him up, apologize and beg for forgiveness.

"_What's wrong?" Lilly is distracted, she can tell. Her inner turmoil has been resolved, and negative thoughts have been wiped away. Her voice is far away, _distant_, and Veronica really doesn't have the heart to tell her. _

"_Logan isn't cheating yet, and I don't think he will, but I think there might be someone else in the picture." The words trip off her tongue fast, and she cringes as she glances back at him. His lips are set in a thin line, but he reaches his hand out to grab hers and squeezes._

"What!_" She exclaims, and dread fills the pit of her stomach. _I _knew_ this wasn't a good idea_…_

"_I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you-"_

"_Who is it?" Her tone is hard, the words icy, and tears begin to well in her eyes, blurring her vision._

"_I-"_

"_I asked you who it was, Veronica." Her tone is dull and lifeless now. Veronica silently sobs, the tears sluicing down her cheeks. _It wasn't supposed to be like this…

"_I-It's-" She can't get the words out, trips and tumbles over them, trying desperately to get hold onto Lilly. _Her_ Lilly. "It's me, Okay?" Her voice breaks, and she closes her eyes, hoping to hide her horror. "I didn't know how to tell you. I-" She isn't given the chance to finish as the line goes dead._

"_What'd she say?" He asks quietly, and she turns to face him fully, her eyes filled with a maelstrom of emotions. He reaches his arms out to her, and she crumples into them, crying noiselessly on his shoulder. "It'll be Okay." He whispers quietly into her hair, but she sighs, shaking her head. It is over now, and nothing will ever be the same again. _

A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen is what we call a _flashback_. I know, it's inopportunely placed, and you're probably wondering why I put it in, especially here-well, there probably a few people who've figured out what I'm doing with this story, but if you haven't, the mystery shall be cleared up in about a chapter or so. I really hope you liked this, folks. I had such a fun time writing it.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the fates are not kind, and I own neither _Veronica Mars_, nor Jason Dohring. But Christmas is coming, so if anyone wants to be really nice and do some kidnapping, I wouldn't be opposed. Oh oops, did I just say that out loud?

_"Were you just speaking to Veronica?" He calls out as he walks onto the patio; he's not even looking at her. He's flipping through the mail, with his back to her, and although she is numb all over she can feel her anger bubbling to the surface, and all at once realizes that she'll be Okay._

_"As a matter of fact, I was, Donut." There is a devious smile playing across her lips as she stands up from the lawn chair she'd been lounging on and winds herself around him._

_"And is she Okay?" He asks, looking into her eyes for the first time. They are guarded, but there is amusement lurking at their corners. _

_"She's fine. She and Logan are having a grand old time." Her answer is cryptic, and causes him pause. _Veronica and…Logan?

_"What is she doing with Logan?" He turns away from her again, and unbidden a memory he'd pushed aside sneaks up on him. _Logan and Veronica wrapped in each other's arms, sleeping peacefully in the guest suite of Shelley Pomeroy's mansion.

_"I don't know, Donut. Maybe touching, and kissing, and doing all those things that people in love do!" He feels the room spinning. Logan and Veronica? His best friend and his girlfriend. _Ex girlfriend_. No._

_"Lilly, what are you talking about?" His voice has hit a nervous hitch, and although he doesn't want to believe her, the look in her eyes tells him otherwise. "They're not in love! They can't be!" She shrugs her petite shoulders, pouting her lips and shimmying around him, making kissing noises and gestures. "C'mon, stop it. Veronica and Logan are not…they're not together." There are tears in his voice now, his throat is constricting by the second, and she stops teasing for a moment to glance up at him shocked at his fragility-his _weakness_. "Aren't you more upset about this?" She turns back to face him, her face a mask of pity…and if he looks deeply enough, hurt. She shrugs her petite shoulders, her blue eyes guarded again. _

_"Veronica Mars is my best friend, Duncan. And Logan and I were _so_ over anyway. So I mean, it's better this way." She turns away from him, so he can't see the pain in her eyes. _

_"How can you say that Li-" He starts, but she whips around to glare at him, a glassy sheen darkening her eyes._

_"Duncan! How can you not? Obviously, in each other they've found something that we," She pauses and gestures in between the two of them, her despair evident. "That we can't…provide for them." She swallows as she says this, turning her head again, so he can't see the lone tear streaming down her cheek. Lilly Kane _did not cry_. "Logan's probably been dying to bang a virgin for months." Her tone is petulant, and she glares straight into his eyes, an unspoken challenge rising in them._

_"What can't I give Veronica that he can, Lilly?" He asks, voice breaking. She's laughing, and his world is suddenly going black about the edges._

_"God, Donut. I don't know, SEX? Every girl needs a little chocolate in her life." She pauses and turns from him, bending at the waist and arranging the towel on her chair. "I guess Logan is Veronica's." She shrugs as she turns back to face him, her eyes twinkling. "So to speak." She grins again, and bites her lip, smirking up at him, her eyelashes batting. "It's Okay, Donut." She pats his shoulder mockingly. "Maybe after they've had their fun, and Logan's done _something_ stupid, she'll crawl back to you. You never know. Second times the charm and all that." She bites the corner of her lip. "Maybe you'll actually be able to…_satisfy_ her this time." She giggles to herself, and he shoves her, slightly. Just to make her go away, to feel his pain. Losing her balance a little, she straightens, and laughingly pushes him back. His mind is all black now, he doesn't know what he's doing, doesn't realize that as he slams her down against the concrete again and again, the ground is stealing her very essence, and the discarded red ashtray-filled to the brim with her ruined, half finished cigarettes, is slowly filling with her blood. _

A/N: Well! That was fun in a slightly-who am I kidding, TREMENDOUSLY disturbing way, but all the same, I hope you guys like it, because I worked really hard to make sure that you did.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: So at this point, you've been reading this story for 9 chapters. You KNOW the characters/plot lines are not my own, but belong to the very wonderful Rob Thomas/Joel Silver duo. And of course the actors belong to themselves (but I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I've been a really good girl this year. I wouldn't mind having a Jason Dohring for Christmas). So seriously, if there's someone out there, like making sure we have disclaimers on all of our stories, find someone else to sue! I am a very penniless college freshman. I have _absolutely_ no money.

A/N: I did a teensy bit of retooling, but the plot of this chapter is basically the same.

_Half a year has passed since Lilly's murder, but Veronica still wakes up screaming. Sometimes at night as Logan lies beside, her he can feel the tremors that torment her and can quell them before she wakes, kissing the tears away from her wet lashes, _keeping her safe._ But he's not always there, and she doesn't know what she'll do when he decides to leave for good. He hasn't said anything-_won't_ say anything, but she knows what she's like. And although he tries to hide it, she can see his winces as she meticulously goes through the Lilly Kane murder investigation clues over and over again. _

"Sooo, Papa Mars is out of town for the weekend. What do you say, pizza, movies, beer?" His tone is light, and just this once she wishes that excitement _didn't_ flutter in her stomach every time he touched her. "Some hanky panky on the den floor…" His voice trails off as he presses a kiss in the crook of her neck, and she wants to give in. She deserves it after the day she's had, but she shrugs him off, taking a few steps away. They have something serious to discuss, and she can't think when he's touching her. "'Ronica?" He's extending his hand out to her, his fingers almost brushing against the thin fabric of her t-shirt, and she closes her eyes, dying to feel his touch. To _succumb_. God, what she would give to just let go-to forget that she _isn't_ a normal teenager.

"There's something you need to know." She blurts, and cringes at the look in his eyes. There is concern there mixed with a large dose of apprehension_. I don't want to do this._ "You know I've been doing a lot of research on Lilly's…" She trails off, the word stuck to her tongue. _Murder_. No matter how many times she swallows the world is stuck there, lodged in her throat for all eternity.

"Of course I do." Helplessly she gazes into his eyes. _Bad idea._ "I'm sorry if I haven't…" He can't finish the sentence. There is too much there-an excess of raw anguish and pain that neither is ready to deal with just yet. Maybe never.

"I know." Her words are so quiet that she's not sure if he's heard them, and her hands clench so tightly together that her knuckles are white. _Not a good sign._

"Then what, V? What do you have to tell me? Do we have any new leads?" She tries not to feel warmed by his choice of words. Now is not the time for fuzzy feelings or fangirlish exclamations. Lilly's killer is somewhere out there, and she won't rest until she finds him. And despite her father's accusations, she knows deep in her heart that Jake Kane didn't bludgeon his own daughter to death.

"When…" She swallows, choosing to look at the spot behind his ear instead of in his eyes. It's easier this way. He's just another client. "At the time of Lilly's murder, she was seeing someone. Someone…_else_." Her voice is lifeless, dull. As if this isn't her best friend she's talking about. As if Logan hadn't been said best friend's boyfriend at the time.

"…I'm not surprised, 'Ronica. Lilly loved guys." His eyes are open and guileless, and all at once she wants to take him in her arms and never let go. "And to be fair, guys loved Lilly." He smiles a bit at this, looking down at his hands as he does so, remembering. _Being jealous of your dead best friend is _not_ the best course of action, Veronica_, her inner voice whispers, and although she knows this is true, she bites her lip to keep from cringing, anyway.

"Do you remember that summer the Kanes went to Europe?" She asks softly walking behind her desk and settling down in the plush cushions of her chair. He still gets a shock, seeing her like this-so at ease in a private detective agency. Of course, after her father got run out of the sheriff's department, opening Mars Investigations was the easiest path to follow. And from what he can see, the elder Mars is damn good at his job. His daughter follows in his footsteps. He realizes that she's waiting for his answer, looking down at him like a prim schoolteacher, and he can't help the sudden urge he has to take her into his arms. _God, I love you._

"Yeah of course." He replies, clearing his throat and breaking eye contact. "Duncan wanted me to tag along, but Lilly, she wanted to break up. Wanted her _freedom_. So I stayed here for the summer." He mumbles out the last words, looking down at his hands as he does so, pretending to inspect his fingernails. "Why? What does that trip have to do with the case?" His eyes are back on hers and she can feel his scrutiny down to her toes. So much for _calm, cool and collected, Mars._

"Nothing, actually." She seems out of sorts as she stares off into the great unknown beyond him, seeing everything and nothing at all. Something grabs her attention though, and in an instant she is back, Veronica. His perfect, action figure of a girlfriend. He breathes a silent sigh of relief. She'll never know how much she scares him when she retreats inside of herself. "Lilly used to hide things in her air vents. Once, after that trip she showed me." He's smiling now, she wonders if he's laughing at her, or if he knows. God_, that would be bad_…Suddenly he's standing-walking into her father's office, and she can do nothing but rush after him. "What are you doing?" She calls, settling in the doorway only to finding him on the floor, playing with a discarded screwdriver.

"Sort of like this?" He asks, unhinging the grate from the corner vent. _Oh god_, she thinks, the world beginning to spin. _He knows._

"Did you-did you learn that from Lilly?" She asks, knowing full well that there is a catch in her voice and not being able to do anything about it. _I so did not need this._

"No, Lilly learned that from _me_." He smiles at her then, and she knows without a doubt that he _doesn't_ know. He wouldn't have been able to smile at her like that if he had. Slowly she walks to him and slides to the ground against the wall, sitting crossed legged on the floor. She leans forward, capturing his lips with hers, and wrapping her arms around his neck. He can taste her tears. "V?" He whispers, breaking away from her and glancing down into her eyes. She doesn't look away this time.

"I don't know how to say this, Logan." She whispers softly. She wants to nuzzle against his neck-to wrap her arms around him and never let go of his warmth.

"Are you dying?" He asks deadpan. Shocked, she bursts into giggles, biting her lip to keep them in.

"No. Definitely not dying." She responds, swallowing as he tightens his arms around her.

"Moving out of state? Changing your hair color? Oh my god, did you crash my car into a tree?" Unceremoniously, he pulls her onto his lap, and he clasps his hands together as he glances up at the ceiling. "God, please don't let it be the _car_. I love that thing." She smiles again, her eyes crinkling. She loves that they can joke like this.

"None of the above." She answers, her face as serious as his own, eyes twinkling.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asks, suddenly serious. He's biting his lip so hard that it's started to bleed, and she feels an absurd rush of pleasure at that.

"Nope. Not breaking up with you." She murmurs softly, splaying her fingers across his cheek.

"Then there's nothing that I don't want to hear. Especially coming from you." He leans down a bit and kisses her nose. "And if it's about the case, even better. Lilly deserves some justice." She smiles softly, not jealous anymore. She understands now that he needs his answers as much as she does. So Lilly can finally be put to rest.

"Duncan had League Meets yesterday afternoon," Her voice is barely a whisper, but she knows he's heard her. She rushes to continue before he can speak. "And I knew that Jake and Celeste would be out of town so I…" Her voice trails off as she bites her lips, searching to find the words.

"Please tell me that the end of that sentence has you coming home and enjoying a nice leisurely run with Back-up. _Please_."

"So I broke in."

"Veronica!" He stands quickly, forgetting that she's sitting on his lap and she falls to a heap on the floor. He's glaring at her, his eyes angry and wild, his fingers tugging at the ends of his hair. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Especially with your father's vendetta against them? God don't you-"

"I remembered that she kept things in her air vents, and when I checked, I found something." She's standing now, and she walks out of the main office and to her desk, where after unlocking the corner drawer, finds 3 tapes, holding them out. "These." She says quietly, not looking into his eyes.

"You risked your life for tapes? God, Ronnie, I could've given you tapes of Lilly. I have hundreds." He takes her face in his hands kissing her soundly. "You could've been _hurt_." She nods, swallowing, not wanting to tell him the rest. _If he doesn't ask I'm not telling him. He doesn't need to know. It'll only-_

"So what's on there? Did you get the answers that you were looking for?" _Dammit. So close._

"Not really. Just another piece of the puzzle Lilly never let me in on."

"Was she…?" His voice trails off, and she knows what he's asking. "Is that why you told me? Because she's banging another guy and he got it on film?" His tone is harsh, his eyes wild. She inhales sharply, but doesn't say a word. "Is he the one that killed her?"

"I don't know." He slumps onto the couch, his eyes blank. She moves to go to him, but his look stops her. He swallows, and with a shuddering sigh, wipes his eyes. Her heart breaks for him, for herself, for _Lilly_.

"Who is it, Veronica?" He asks after a long moment. She comes to sit by him, settling on the floor, and wrapping her fingers around his. They're cold as ice. "Do I…do I know him?" The room is getting smaller and smaller, but she takes a shuddering breath and nods once. His fingers tighten on hers, and after a second, he glances down at her, realization dawning in his eyes. "No." He breathes, despair lighting his eyes. _Now he knows._

A/N 2: That was really long, huh? I was compensating for having such a long disclaimer today. But you have to admit that it was funny. Haha. Anyway, so many things to discuss…yes, Aaron and Lilly did have an affair. Obviously. But somehow on that day when she discovered the tapes, he didn't kill her. I actually don't know how I'm going to explain that away. Also, if you look, there are bits of my favorite dialogue from the show sprinkled in, which I thought was a cute touch. And for my loyal fans (because you know, I have them) there is a mention of the fictitious 'League Meets', which if you've read my other stuff, you'll recognize. And I thought throwing that in would be kind of cute too. Anyway, I actually really really like this chapter, which doesn't bode too well for it, but I hope you guys like it too!

Also, just before I jump in, this was written-and written well with the help of the one, the only, my favorite person in the entire world: **Enna**. Babe, without you, I wouldn't have had the inspiration, or the corrections. Thanks a million.

Also, to **Simply Lilly**, your comments and praise, always astound me. You're so awesome for reading and liking everything, so this is also dedicated to you, and your plain awesomeness. Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

Author's Note: Once again thanks to **Simply Lilly** for giving me a plot line.

She shouldn't have let him leave. Actually she shouldn't have let him stay, but the broken look in his eyes had killed her. So she'd opened her arms to him for the thousandth time, thinking nothing of it. But when he was gone in the morning-_hadn't even bothered saying goodbye_, she began to think something of it. And when she discovered Lilly's tapes missing, the panic set in.

"Dammit Logan! Of all the stupid, pig headed, ASSHOLIC things to do!" Frustrated tears leak out of her eyes as she punches the digits on her phone, mumbling curses as she goes, fury molding her features. Slamming open the driver's side door on the Le Baron, she puts the phone to her ear just in time to hear his answering machine message.

"You've reached Logan Echolls with today's inspirational greeting: _Both tears and sweat are salty, but will render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change. _Jesse Jackson. Leave a message." She bites her down on her lip, fear bringing the tears to her eyes this time. The tone sounds and she's at a loss.

"H-hi. It's me. So you left and the tapes are missing, and I'm trying to keep myself from thinking that you took them and are now on a wild goose chase to solve a murder. _Please_ tell me you're not." She pauses a moment, breathing in deeply. "But I just want you to know that I love you. And nothing you can do will change that." She clicks off, and shuddering, leans back into the comfort of the seat. She's never said the words before. _If he gets himself killed, it won't matter that you said it now._ She breathes deep again, counting slowly back from one hundred, gives herself 30 seconds to cry it out, then throws the car in reverse. She has a boyfriend to rescue after all.

Once she gets on the main road she tries dialing him again. _Maybe this is just a huge misunderstanding. Maybe he left me a message and I just didn't find it._ She's hopeful as she pauses, waiting for the ring. It goes straight to voicemail. _So much for wishful thinking._

Author's Note: I know. This kind of kills the awesome relationship that you all said was bubbling between them before, but when you find out that your dad has been screwing your girlfriend-and now she's dead…it does not bode well for you. Or him really. So this was Logan's teensy breaking out of the great boyfriend shell. But he'll be back, don't you worry.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own no part of the _Veronica Mars_ franchise. Seriously. No part. Although considering that I've started dreaming about it now-and when people are around, I want them to LEAVE so I can work on my fics, they should really be paying me for this gig. A night with Jason Dohring would TOTALLY be compensation…

The gate is locked. As Veronica peeks in through the wrought iron, she can see a sliver of yellow-Logan's car, but nothing else. And as she pushes the buzzer for the 12th time to no avail, frustrated tears form in the corners of her eyes. She reaches for her bag again, fumbling against her things for her cell phone.

"Come on, Logan." She breathes as she dials his number, her fingers shaking. She's contemplating scaling the wall when he answers, his voice heavy.

"Veronica, now really isn't the time." He's tired and broken, and she would've swallowed her fear and anger if she hadn't heard the edge in his voice.

"Logan-"

"Veronica. Please." There is a certain finality in that. _Please_. A word she'd never heard come out of his mouth before. _Please_. "God, y'know, Ronnie," His voice is conversational now, and she wonders for a moment where he's going with it. "I can't believe what crap Dog Beach is turning into. I mean, who would've thought. I mean, if I lived anywhere around there, I would _get out_ as quickly as possible. You know, in _an area that bad_, getting out would be _the best idea_." He sighs deeply, and the words propel themselves throughout her mind. _Best idea. Dog Beach. An area that bad…_ And it all finally clicks into place.

"Logan…" Her voice falters, and for a second, she wants to push on. To continue; ask him _why_ he took those tapes, why he wants her to _leave_ so badly, but she doesn't. "I love you." She murmurs into the phone, her voice barely a whisper. She can hear his sharp intake of breath, and the words hurriedly whispered back. Then he is gone, and Veronica can't help but wonder what happened. She moves off the hood and into the driver's side of the car, her mind a little unfocused as she reverses out of the driveway, and as she pulls into the parking lot of the beach, she wonders where the time went-how she got there so quickly. The April air is crisp as it swirls around her shoulders, but she barely realizes she's shivering. She barely realizes anything at all now, her lifeless eyes focused in on the crashing of the surf on the shore. It brings Lilly back in a startling heartbeat. _Lilly, god, what a mess you made of everything. And I thought it was _my_ fault._ The tears are flowing down her cheeks before she can stop them, and she doesn't even notice the soft rapping noise against the window of her car. Startled out of her reverie, she's out of the car and into his arms in seconds. She doesn't even bother closing the door.

"Veronica-" His voice is soft, low and insistent in her ear. But she shakes her head, needing the soft warmness of him. "I-"

"I don't want your apologies, Logan." She murmurs, pulling away and wiping the tears from her eyes. "I can't believe you would take those tapes. Take the investigation into your own hands…god. I can't even-" She glances out at the ocean, the turbulent waves agitating her even more. Lilly's revenge.

"Well at least we know now." He murmurs quietly, and for the first time she notices that he's shaking too.

"We know now? We know what?" She asks wearily. He looks so lost and crestfallen that instinctively she wants to wrap herself around him. She doesn't. "What do we know Logan?" She asks softly. Their eyes lock, and for a moment, they are the only people who exist. Tears are leaking out of the corners of her eyes, but she doesn't wipe them away, her eyes so intensely caught in his, trying to differentiate between the differing emotions in his eyes.

"He didn't do it."

A/N: I know, I know. It's still not as long as it should be, but for the moment, it's the best I can do. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it isn't my favorite.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Don't own _Veronica Mars_. Wish I did. Therein lies the problem.

Despite the comfort she feels with Logan's arms wrapped around her, it's 3 in the morning and she still can't sleep, the certainty in his eyes and the timbre of his voice resonating through her mind. _He didn't do it._ Aaron hadn't killed Lilly. It's a small comfort, that. But as the memory of her best friend's battered body flits through her mind, she shudders. _Not so comforting._ A movie montage of Lilly memories flashes through her mind, and suddenly; she can't quite quell the ache that builds in her chest. _I will find out who did this to you, Lilly._ Logan mutters something incoherent in his sleep, tightening his grip around her waist, and she turns to face him, pulling him closer, trying to dash his demons away. _And I'll make them pay._

"Shh baby, it's Okay." She murmurs, kissing his eyelids. He shudders involuntarily, his entire body tensing, and fleetingly she wonders what it is that's torturing him. _Oh wait, Veronica. That's easy! Could be that his girlfriend was murdered in cold blood? And as an added bonus his father slept with her at some point as well? Gosh, I didn't think so. _ She shudders again, wrapping herself around him and squeezing her eyes closed. The gruesome details are almost too much to bear. _I can't go through this again_. But of course she can. She will. She _does_ every day when she runs through the details of the Lilly Kane Murder Investigation over and over again. She's even dedicated her laptop to it. Sighing, she burrows into him again, wishing that there were something she could do to make her awful hallucinations go away.

"V?" He whispers a few moments later, when her breathing has steadied and he's almost positive she's asleep. When she doesn't respond, he slips out from beneath her, pulling up the covers around her to keep out the cold. After pressing a quick kiss to her temple, he slips in front of her computer desk, tapping on the keys to wake it from its sleep. An old Homecoming picture of the girls assaults him as the computer sputters to life, and though the familiar ache at the loss of Lilly hits him square in the gut, it is Veronica's understated beauty that really draws him in.

"Hey," She mumbles from behind him, and he freezes, his fingers stilling above the keys. "What're you doing?" She asks sleepily, stretching and padding to him, dropping a kiss on the crook of his neck. He shivers.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I had a dire urge to check my horoscope?" He asks, not turning to face her. If she's upset, he won't be able to handle the disappointment looming in her eyes, and if she isn't he doesn't know how he'll be able to lie to her.

"Well, now that you've put it that way, no." She responds, laughing a bit and leaving another peck on his shoulder. "What's going on? And why the sudden interest in horoscopes?" She's pulled herself into his lap now, wrapping her arms around his neck, her lips connecting with his on a soft sigh.

"Veronica," He murmurs, breaking contact, which he instantly regrets after looking into her eyes.

"Logan," She whispers back, leaning up and kissing him again, tangling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. "This is a perfectly good make out moment." She murmurs, dotting the tiniest of kisses on his collarbone. "Don't ruin it."

"Veronica. I wasn't going to look up my horoscope." He mutters, his eyes telling her just how serious he is. Scoffing, she leans back, arching a perfectly sculpted eyebrow as she glances at him.

"Wow, Logan!" She says, dropping into the faux cheerleader voice he hates, and swatting him on the arm. "I had _no_ idea." She giggles, and it takes everything he has to not grab her up in his arms and kiss her senseless.

"V, I'm serious. I was…I was going to look at-I know you're carrying on your own investigation. And I just…I was going to read things. Try and get some more insight. Please don't be mad."

"Mad?" She asks, her voice catching at the end. Her eyes are a bit wide, but she doesn't move. Doesn't slap him. Doesn't turn away. He's too scared to hope that she won't end things completely. As she presses her lips to his, he's lost.

"Veronica-I'm so sorry-I-" She nods once, breaking the contact of their lips, and as she rests her head against his shoulder. He can feel her tears.

"It's Okay." She whispers, then kisses him lightly to prove it. "What did you want to see?" She asks, slowly detangling herself from his arms and facing forward. Bringing up Lilly's file, she stands, and gestures down to it, tilting her head. "There it is." She bends and places the softest of kisses on his temple. "All of it." She turns back to the bed, stretching again and burrowing under the covers. Her pulse is jumping and she feels as though her heart is about to catapult itself right out of her chest, but just as the panic really starts to set in, the sound of his breathing steadies her. Even from across the room she can sense his presence, and although he's the cause of her anxiety, he also makes it better. Just by being Logan. A feeling of warm contentment replaces her fear-finally she's safe. He's turning towards her, and she starts to tell him so, but the look on his face stops her, shaking her to the core once more.

"I know what happened."

A/N: I won't lie to you. While there are certain things that I like in this chapter, I am a firm believer that the majority of it sucks. But since I've been working on it since about 7, and it's now 1 in the morning, this is the best you're going to get. I really hope you guys enjoy it, because I wrote it for you.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own _Veronica Mars_. I've actually never owned Veronica Mars. I will never-oh wait…I might pull a Michael Jackson one day, when I'm rich and just buy the rights. THAT'S how much I love this show.

He is dead. He is dead and she is numb, unable to process it. Rain sluices down from the sky, and she shudders, pulling the drenched ends of her sweatshirt closer together. It is a futile attempt to stay warm.

"Veronica, we need to go. Now." His voice is barely a whisper, but harder than she's ever heard it-and if she could feel anything, she's sure she'd be scared for him- worried for his well being. As it is, she can barely function. She's surprised that she's made it this far without retching. There was so much blood. She stops for a moment-the grotesque memory of it making it too hard for her to continue, then leans against the glass of the front door, slinking down to the ground, her head in her hands. "Veronica." She's shaking as she looks up at him, her tears mingling with the ice-cold rain. As she stands, droplets of water tinged with blood fall from the edges of her jacket. He doesn't miss the irony of it, and he's never been so scared in his life. She stumbles as they make their way to the car, tripping as she falls to the ground. When she doesn't get up again, the panic sets in. "C'mon, V. Get up. It's only a few more feet to the car." He's whispering soothing words and endearments, but they fall on deaf ears. A vacant stare has taken up residence in her eyes, and without warning he scoops her into his arms. With her head burrowed in his chest, she finally breaks, her sobs shaking them both, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck. He fumbles a bit as they reach the car, but he refuses to set her down. Propping the passenger side door open with his shoulder, he settles her in, smoothing her down and cupping her face with his palm. A noise from the distance shakes him from his reverie and in an instant he's in the car, backing out of the driveway, pulling away from the shattered normalcy of their past. For all intents and purposes, they were never there. "Where do you want to go?" He asks after a few minutes, his voice breaking the silence. She turns to glance at him, almost surprised that he's no longer speaking in a whisper. For the moment they're out of danger.

"I don't…" Her voice is small and rusty, as if she's unused to using it. _Surprised_ that she still can. "I don't know." Her eyes are filling with tears again, there are hundreds of unspoken questions in their depths and he reaches across the console, gripping her fingers lightly with his. "Shouldn't we-shouldn't we tell someone?" She asks softly, when a few minutes later they pull into the car park of her apartment complex. He shrugs slowly, and as she really looks at him for the first time in hours, she notices how haggard he looks-how _scared_. "Everything will be Okay, Logan. I promise." She whispers, unsure whether he can hear her, unsure if her words mean anything to him, even.

"Will it?" The sun has started to rise, spurts of pink streaking the sky, and neither has spoken in what feels like hours. He cuts her off before she can speak again, a cynical edge coloring his voice. "Because I have to say, the suicide of Neptune's First Son ranks pretty high up there in things that won't allow the world to ever be Okay again." Sighing, he ducks his head, leaning his brow against the cool plastic of the steering wheel, rubbing at his face with his hands. After a few moments he glances over at her, grimacing at the shell-shocked look on her face. "God, V, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Suddenly she's in his arms, sobbing the loss of Duncan's life into his chest. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

"Because you should have?" He pulls away slightly, looking down into her eyes, tracing the contours of her face with his fingers. She places the lightest of kisses against his lips, but he loses himself in her, afraid that if he stops kissing her he won't be able to survive. "It isn't your fault." She murmurs gently against his lips, and his grip on her tightens once before he lets go.

"Veronica, he was my best friend. I shouldn't have pushed him so hard. We shouldn't have-"

"We shouldn't have what? Told him that we knew? Asked him to get help? We didn't scream-we didn't yell, God, we didn't even _accuse_ him, Logan. And he killed Lilly. He _killed_ her." She's crying again now, making little hiccupping noises as she rests her head in her shaking hands.

"He shouldn't have died, Veronica." His tone is flat, his eyes empty. She nods once, sitting back and leaning her head against the seat.

"You're right, he shouldn't have. And maybe we should've handled it differently, but we didn't know he had a gun, Logan." Sighing, she pushes open her door, breathing deeply. "C'mon. Let's try and get some sleep. We need it." He's wordless as he follows her out of the car, gripping her hand tightly as if he's afraid that she'll disappear too.

"Oh God, honey is that you? Thank God." She can hear Keith's voice from inside the apartment as she turns back to face him, a wan smile touching her lips.

"Ready to deal with the fallout?" She whispers. He only tightens his fingers in response.

A/N: You hate me. I know you do. But I don't care. This is what they call a _wrap_. I didn't want to kill Duncan. Really, I didn't. I actually really really like Teddy Dunn, but it needed to be done. And don't get me wrong, I loved this story, but unlike my other one:ahem:ahem: **The Other Woman** (which I think you should all go read, haha), I didn't want to over saturate it. The answers to the pivotal questions are answered, and Logan and Veronica are together. I'm happy with it. I hope you are too.


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